Of Kink Memes and Men
by RadianteMono
Summary: Various kink meme fills I've done. Pairings vary, though the main pairing would be SuFin. Other pairings include USUK, Iceland/HongKong, DenNor, SeaLat, etc. Rated M for language and sexual content. Ranges from crack to serious. Lengths vary.
1. By the Bus Stop

Hello! :P I figured I'd post my kink meme fills here. Some of them, like one I'm working on right now, will get posted here and not on the meme itself, because I tend to trail off from the original request.

The main pairing will be SuFin, though I tend to imply other pairings as well. I like genderbending, but if you don't like that, don't read it. My stuff'll probably range from yaoi to het to maybe, maybe light yuri.

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><p>Original Request:<p>

Any nations - South Park crossover AU

Okay, so, four foulmouthed eight year old boys and their ridiculous adventures in a little town located in the heart of Colorado.

I don't really care who's used, but at least make it make some sense with character choice, you know? But really main focus please on the main four. (though throwing in others like Butters and Wendy isn't minded, it's loved)

As far as plot goes, they can just be standing at the bus stop, I seriously don't care. Anything is welcomed.

Preferably human AU so obviously the nations are little kids.

Bonus: "OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED _!" "YOU BASTARDS!" is used.

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><p>Mathias, Berwald, Lukas and Erik all stood by the bus stop sign by the road to get a ride to the office building they worked at.<p>

"Hey, did you know the last thing you do before you die is crap your pants?" Mathias said, and Berwald's eye twitched. He really should've expected that. How was he friends with such a jackass? Lukas scowled and started an argument with him. Erik simply looked on, he never really did much.

"You goddamn pagan! You people are why we can't all get along! I hate all you guys!" Mathias ranted, fighting with Lukas. Berwald pinched the bridge of his nose. Erik simply looked on. "Why do I even hang out with you guys? Erik's super poor and has to get help from that closet pedophile Ivan! And Berwald's a goddamn traitor, always spending time with his girlfriend instead of us! God, I hate you guys!"

"Y're 'n i'iot. T's 's w'y y' d'nt h've a c'ck.*" Erik said, his speech muffled by the licorice.

"Fuck you! You're the one that beats off to those weird magazines! You think I haven't snuck into your house before? Why don't you go hang out with that filthy Jew rat Ananiah or the ginger bastard, Ireland**?" Mathias was yelling.

Then a truck swerved off the road and Erik went flying, landing on the ground at an awkward angle, breaking his neck. The others ran to the scene, only to find their friend's corpse.

"Oh my god!" Berwald said, stunned. "They killed Erik!"

"You bastards!" Lukas yelled, ignoring the fact that his brother was lying dead at his feet. Then the body took a huge crap.

"Ha, I told you guys! I was right!" Mathias danced around, then Berwald punched him in the face so hard he passed out.

"Berwald!" Tiina ran towards her man, hugging him. After she pulled back, he threw up. "Ew! Gross!" Then they went home and banged.

Then Lukas carried Mathias to his house and they banged. The Erik somehow came back to life and then a meteor landed on him and squished him.

THE END, BITCHES

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><p>* When I typed this I meant chick, but I realized after posting it that it looked like he was saying cock. XD<p>

** I didn't notice that I had used the name of a country until I had already posted this on the kink meme.

Erik=Iceland, Mathias=Denmark, Lukas=Norway, Ananiah=Israel, Tiina=fem!Finland


	2. My Little Boy

Warning: angst, maybe crappy writing, historical inaccuracies are a possibility as well.

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><p>Original request:<p>

Sweden is Russia's father

So, according trusty old Wikipedia, Swedes founded Kievan Rus. This anon translates that into the Hetalia-verse as Sweden possibly being Russia's father. So when Sweden and Russia fight over Finland, that means that the father and son are fighting over the wife...

Basically, anything focusing on Sweden being Russia's father. Fluff, angst, mind-blowingly dysfunctional family, anything except smut please (anon is a prude . )

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><p>Berwald sat in the small clearing of forest, patting the child in his lap's hair while said child gently poked the fire they had lit with a stick. The elk Berwald had managed to take down earlier that day was roasting on the fire, filling the air with a delicious scent. Surly it would fill both of them up, since despite the fact that it was a small elk, there were only two of them.<p>

"Papa, where are we going?" Berwald looked down at the child. He was looking up at him expectantly, purple eyes shining in the moonlight.

"Goin' to find yer sisters. 'S two more of ya out there," An o-shape was formed by the child's mouth. Honestly, Berwald couldn't wait to find the other two. He might be really young, but he also really wanted a family. He would like if maybe one of those two sisters were a boy, but he had to live with the cards he was dealt. It didn't matter, though. He loved all three of them with all his heart.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Ivan?"

"Will you still love me when we find the other two?" Berwald let one of his very, _very_ rare smiles grace his face at that. Ivan smiled back at him. Berwald playfully rustled his son's hair.

"'Course I will. Yer m'little boy. I'll always love ya." Ivan laughed a little, then snuggled into Berwald's chest. He felt a pair of large hands wrap around him, protecting him. He felt a little sad when they pulled away and Berwald lifted him out of his lap. How long had he simply been content to lying in his daddy's arms?

"Time to eat, Ivan." He was handed a piece of elk, and judging by how warm it was, Berwald had let it cool off a little before giving it to him. Ivan looked over at Berwald and noticed how much larger the piece he was eating was.

"Hey! That's not fair! How come you get a bigger piece than me?" Berwald smirked, just a tiny bit, before leaning in close to Ivan. He poked Ivan's stomach, ever-so gently.

"'Cause m'tummy is bigger than yers," He poked Ivan's stomach again, prompting a giggle. "Finish yer food, Ivan. Then ya can sleep. 'Kay?"

"Okay, Papa!" He ate his elk while looking around at his surroundings. It was a clear night tonight, and they had a wonderful view of the sky from where they were camping out for the night.

After eating, Ivan waited for Berwald to finish before once again crawling into Berwald's lap, feeling those arms encircle him once again. He felt so, so safe. Ivan looked up at the sky. "Papa, look!"

Berwald looked up at the sky where Ivan had pointed. There was a shooting star flying across the sky. Berwald felt a warm smile creep onto his face. "Make a wish. It'll come true 'cause ya saw a shooting star."

Ivan placed a finger on his chin before he spoke. "I wanna be with my papa forever!" Afterwards, Ivan turned back around and once again nuzzled into Berwald's chest. "I love you, Papa."

"I love ya too, Ivan." He tenderly ran his fingers through Ivan's hair. It was true. He loved Ivan more than anything.

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><p>Nobody realized how much each and every world meeting broke Berwald's heart. They didn't realize how much pain stabbed at his heart every time he saw Ivan.<p>

They didn't cuddle him and keep him warm by campfires. They didn't play monster with him when he was a little boy. They didn't teach him how to hunt.

They weren't forced to fight against their own son and lose the love of their life to him. They weren't forced to watch their child descend into insanity.

Berwald could honestly say that was one of the worst things he had ever experienced. The Russo-Swedish war broke his heart more than anything. When had his little boy grown so powerful? When had his beautiful, perfect little boy become so hostile. Why would his son, who he loved more than anything, rip his love away from him? And all of this was before he watched him slip into insanity...

After the Russo-Swedish war, he could only watch as Ivan grew into the biggest nation on the planet. And he could only watch as all traces of his son were washed away. The Russian Revolution happened. The czar was overthrown and a communist government was set up. Those humans were ripping Ivan apart. Too much was going on at one time. He was involved in World War I at the same time as his revolution took place. Berwald, if he had to guess, suspected that all the stress and revolution had been getting to him. Sure, he got his lover back after the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk gave Tino (and a few others) independence, but it didn't help. Ivan had exited World War I with the treaty, but it was too late. He had fallen into insanity.

Berwald's heart ached every time he saw his little boy. His heart ached every time he saw a shooting star, hearing his son's sweet voice in his head.

"_I wanna be with my papa forever!"_

But his son was gone. His son was never coming back.

Peter and Tino never understood why when Peter saw a shooting star, and made a wish to be with Berwald forever, he began sobbing.

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><p>Sad ending is sad. :( I saw this kink meme request, and I just had to fill it. I hope you enjoyed it even though it sucked.<p> 


	3. You've Gotten Big, Hana!

A/N: I didn't remember whether it was the neurolyzer or the deneurolyzer that erased memories, since both were mentioned in MIB2 and I haven't watched it in a while.

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><p>Original request:<p>

All, Men In Black crossover

Hope this hasn't been requested before...  
>Basically the world of the Men In Black movies, IN SPACE! WITH HETALIA CHARACTERS! You can be as creative with the charactersroles/pairings as you want, I just really wanna see this!

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><p>Tino (AKA <em>Agent Ti<em>) staggered along the sidewalk, his partner Berwald (AKA _Agent Be_) helping him along. He needed to get Tino home before he got arrested for public intoxication again. It always raised questions when Tino didn't have any records to show he existed, and then Berwald would have to wipe the memories of everyone in the police station and take him home.

There was no telling how silly Tino looked, drunk yet in a highly professional, spotless black suit. Berwald was already having enough trouble whenever they came across a lone flower sticking out of a drain that drained the water from the street when it rained. He felt like facepalming whenever Tino's face lit up and he broke out of Berwald's grasp, staggering towards the flower.

"Hana-Tamago~!" He got on his hands and knees, then started poking the flower. Berwald knew he looked like a total jackass to everyone around. He froze in shock the moment Tino started tugging on the flower. He really was a stupid drunk.

The flower fell into the storm drain, then a large worm rocketed out of the ground and into the air. It looked down at both of them. She had gotten bigger lately. They used to be able to hold her in their hand.

"Hana~ Who's a big girl? You are, you are!" He was treating that worm like a puppy. Hana-Tamago bent down and allowed Tino to pet her. That was expected. It was a gentle worm. Usually.

Some teenager walked up to Hana-Tamago and smacked her with his skateboard while his friends laughed. She turned around and ate the leader, then went back to being petted. Tino really couldn't read the atmosphere when he was drunk, as he continued snuggling Hana-Tamago. Well, hugging her head, anyways. Berwald sighed, and walked over to the other teenagers, who were frozen in either fear or shock. Probably both.

Berwald put on his sunglasses over the ones he had already wore and brought out his deneurolyzer. He flashed it at the teenagers and took off his sunglasses. "Nothin' to see here. Move along." The teenagers took one look at his eyes and nodded quickly before running away.

Berwald pulled some worm snacks from his jacket. Every agent had something along those lines with them, since almost every agent had an alien "pet" of some sort. He didn't have nearly as much trouble with Hana-Tamago as Gilbert (AKA _Agent Super-Awesome G_) did with that freakish yellow bird thing that vaporized stuff with its third eye. He needed to get Tino home, and the first step was to get him away from Hana.

He whistled, and threw the entire bag of snacks into her mouth, then petted what Berwald and Tino had assumed was her nose. "Go to sleep, Hana."

"D-Don't worry! We'll be back tomorrow, Hana! Moi~!" He nuzzled Hana-Tamago again before she retreated back into the ground. Berwald grabbed his deneurolyzer, then put his sunglasses on and waited for Tino to put his on, then wiped the memories of all the bystanders.

Berwald and Tino continued to walk towards their house. Well, Berwald helped Tino stagger to their house. They walked in, Berwald tucking Tino into bed before he managed to get one of their weapons and kill something.

"Berwald~ I'm horny. I know you want to! Moi~!" At that point, Berwald used one of their less-powerful tranquilizer darts on Tino.

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><p>Obviously based off the scene in MIB2 with Jeff the worm. When I wrote this, I imagined Hana-Tamago as Jeff, only white and furry. Yeah. =P<p> 


	4. Frat Boys Are Scary!

Laima is actually Latvian for Luck, so it's kind of ironic, given how Latvia's time with Russia turned out. :v Papa is Berwald, Daddy is Tino. Since I don't call Tino Mama in my fics.

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><p>Original request:<p>

Fem!Sealand/Fem!Latvia: Fluff

Obviously, no smut, but those two are so CUUUTE! :D

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><p>Laima stumbled along the sidewalk, being pulled along by her best friend. What if Piper scraped her knee or something and her parents got mad at her? Her papa was really, <em>really<em> scary and her daddy got upset whenever Piper got hurt. But Piper was so excited and hyperactive, there wasn't much she could do. Right now, she seemed dead set on winning the big prize at a booth in the amusement park.

They had had a relatively nice day at the amusement park. Laima had only started crying twenty-six times, and the scary part of the day was over, since they were through with riding rides. Ivan's past abuse meant that she wasn't tall enough to ride several of the rides, and Piper was around the same height she was, so some of the rides Piper was excited about wound up off-limits to them. There were the rides they could ride, though. And Laima thought she was going to have a heart attack only twelve times, which impressed them both.

Now that the day was winding down, Piper had wanted to hit the games. And so here she was, getting dragged along. There was no telling how much money Piper had, since both of her parents spoiled her like there was no tomorrow.

"Laima! Let's play that water squirt game!" Piper dragged her to a game where one squirts water into a clown's mouth and whoever reaches a certain amount first wins. Piper reached into her pockets and handed her money to the man running the game. Two other people also joined in, both appearing to be men in college. Probably frat boys.

Laima knew how to use a gun. She was a nation, almost every nation did. And knowing how to use a gun meant she knew how to aim. At the distance between her and the clown, perfect aim was a piece of cake. But those frat guys were acting big and bad. It made her really, really nervous. She tried to steady herself from shaking so that she could hold the handle steadily.

She felt Piper pat her back. "Don't be scared of those guys, Laima! You can do it! ...If you can beat me, that is!" Piper stuck her tongue out a little, then turned back towards the clown. The game was about to start. She heard the boys scoff at Piper's comment, but she turned towards the clown. She was still trembling.

The sound indicating the start of the game startled her, but she managed to spray a steady stream of water into the clown's mouth despite what she had expected. She heard an alarm sound and looked up.

She won.

Piper didn't win, but it was close. The two frat boys didn't win, and they were pretty close, too. They were glaring at her. She started shaking at once. She wasn't used to besting people bigger than her. Piper perked up instantly.

"Wow, Laima! You did it! Pick your prize, Laima!" Piper started pointing out the things she liked, and the things that she thought Laima might like. She eventually picked a stuffed cat. "Wow, that's cute, Laima!"

They got up and began walking away. Laima was scared. She wished she could nail up her room or something and keep those guys that were glaring her at bay.

Piper obviously didn't notice them, because she was already dragging Laima towards another game. The two of them walked up right behind them. The bigger one plucked the stuffed cat right out of Laima's arms. Piper jerked around instantly.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!" The man lifted the cat over her head and dangled it teasingly. Piper jumped up to get it back, but he simply lifted it up higher so that it was out of her reach.

"Hey now, my bud and I played that game to win a prize! We want your toy. Too bad, so sad, little girl. This is mine now." Laima felt tears prickling at her eyes. Why did people bigger than her always pick on her? Piper was punching at them both, but the one without the bear had his hand on her forehead, easily holding her back.

Piper suddenly backed off and stormed away, much to the confusion of the two boys. Laima hesitantly followed Piper. She wanted to get away from those guys. Piper simply walked over to the _Test Your Strength_ game. The guys were watching her, and honestly, it made Laima shake uncontrollably. She stood next to Piper as she gave some money to the guy running the booth.

Piper took the mallet and brought it down with a thud. Piper wasn't technically a nation, so she wasn't nearly as physically powerful as Alfred or her papa. But as a micronation, she was much stronger than a human. It came as no surprise to Laima when the bell at the top rang. It shocked everyone near them, but not Laima. The stunned man asked what prize Piper wanted. She picked a giant stuffed teddy bear holding a heart. She gave it to Laima, then stomped back over to the two frat boys, looking at her in awe.

"You bastards! You guys are just mad that my friend is better than you! Hmph!" Piper turned around and went back to Laima.

Laima was trembling. What if they came over and tried to steal her new bear? Or what if they beat up Piper? Her parents wouldn't let her come out with her anymore if they did. She felt hot tears running down her cheeks. She choked out a sob. Piper walked up to her and gave her a long hug, waiting for Laima to let it out. Laima crying was something Piper had gotten used to.

"Don't worry about them, Laima! I'll take care of them! No one bugs the biggest nation on Earth's best friend!" Piper led her towards the gate of the amusement park. Her parents would be here to pick them up soon.

The two sat together on a bench. Laima felt Piper wrap an arm around her. She leaned into the touch. "I had fun today, Laima. We should convince Daddy and Papa to let me come out with you more often! I wish they weren't so afraid of Russia getting me." Laima tensed up, just a little. Those guys reminded her of Ivan.

"W-Why did you win this t-toy for me?" Piper grinned.

"Because those guys needed to be put in their place," Piper leaned in close and gently kissed Laima's cheek. "And because I love you, desu yo!"

A bright red blush spread across Laima's face. "I... I love you t-too." Piper pulled her closer as Laima pulled the giant bear close to her chest.

They sat in content silence, Piper keeping Laima's trembling in check as they waited for Piper's parents to pick them up.


	5. Chocolate!

This was pretty rushed, I won't lie. I was sick and there was a lot of crap going on at the time. :/ But I promised the anon that I would do a fill, so I did.

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><p>Original request:<p>

Sweden/Finland/Sweden, romancing with extravagent desserts

I would love to see a cute love story in which Finland, who has a bit of a sweet tooth, comes over to check out the new cake shop that has just opened up near his house. It is here that he runs into Sweden, the owner and head pastry chef of the establishment.

Though Finland is intimidated, Sweden's interest is piqued and he hurries to offer Finland his best dessert, free of charge. Once Finland gets the first taste of Sweden's creation, he knows that no other cake shop will ever satisfy him again now that he's tasted perfection. Realizing that this is his ticket in with Finland, Sweden begins to romance him with delicious sweets.

Bonus: Finland goes to Sweden's shop for cake when he's had a bad day and ends up spilling all his troubles to Sweden, who is all too eager to listen and make it better.  
>Bonus 2: Sweden makes unprompted cake deliveries to Finland's houseoffice as an excuse to see him more.  
>Bonus 3: smut with chocolate sauce.<p>

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><p>Tino had always loved sweets. Any of his friends could tell you that. Eduard would tell you about how Tino had once tried inventing a new form of chocolate, or Toris would tell you about the time Tino had once eaten an entire twenty-one scoop sundae in less than an hour and wound up in a wall of fame. So it was that the day a bakery opened up just down the street from his house, Tino had made sampling everything in the store his first priority.<p>

The moment he had laid eyes on the owner and head chef of the bakery was the single scariest moment of his life. What Tino hadn't noticed was the light pink dusting that had graced the man's face at the same time. It had taken much courage to drag himself up to the cash register. Tino wasn't quite sure why, but the man had given him an extravagant chocolate-iced cake for free. It had only taken one bite for Tino to decide that he was never going anywhere else for sweets again.

Tino learned that the head chef (and owner) of the the bakery was called Berwald, and that he wasn't nearly as scary as he looked. He wasn't quite sure why, but Tino found himself somewhat drawn to the man. Maybe it was how his large hands had delicately iced some of the most beautiful cakes he had ever seen, or maybe it was how adorable he looked whenever he walked his tiny white dog. Whatever it was, Tino liked it.

Berwald had taken an immediate liking to Tino as well. Tino had seemed to like the cake that he had given him, and he had taken that as his opportunity to woo the shorter man. Every day, Tino would come to his shop, and every day Berwald would work even harder to produce the most mouth-watering creations he could. His brother had actually put on a little bit of weight due to the sheer number of pastries Berwald had gotten him to taste test.

As time went on, Tino had begun striking up conversations with Berwald while he ate at the bakery. He had learned much about the man this way. He learned about Berwald's family, a single brother who worked at the bakery as well (Berwald had pointed him out as the cashier on duty while he was talking to Tino). His dog's name was Hana-Tamago, whom he had found on the street while he was visiting the city on day. His favorite color was blue. He had some sort of rivalry with the owner of the other pastry shop, Arthur Kirkland. Tino had sampled Arthur's food, which paled in comparison to Berwald's.

Tino had also learned how wonderful a listener Berwald was. He would always sincerely listen to his complaints. Sometimes, when Tino was especially troubled and got upset, Berwald would walk away and place a small cupcake on a tiny saucer in front of him. He would even try and comfort him sometimes, though he was no expert on human behavior. His attempts were very endearing if not somewhat awkward.

Tino would sometimes order cakes from the bakery and have them delivered to his house. The cake was always amazing, and he would be able to have some after he had eaten dinner. Berwald would always take the utmost care with keeping them from getting smooshed on the way to Tino's house. Tino would open up the box to find a cake in the same condition as one on display at the bakery. Even the icing was completely undisturbed.

Sometimes, Berwald would deliver a cake to Tino's house, even when he knew for a fact he didn't order a cake. He never questioned Berwald's actions, though. It was when receiving a cake he didn't order, and realizing that the store was closed due to the late hour, that Tino had invited Berwald into his home. It had been a lovely night, talking to Berwald even though he mostly obtained short replies and one-worded answers. It was also then when Tino realized how similar they were. They were both native to a Nordic country, Berwald being from Sweden and himself from Finland. They also shared an interest in hockey, liked their coffee black, and more.

That particular night ended with Berwald quickly pecking Tino on the lips before quickly leaving, the bright red blush gracing his features evident. Tino had felt something bubble up in his stomach as Berwald left. It had taken Tino a little bit of time to name the feeling inside him, though he eventually decided to call it love.

It was the next day that Tino had asked for Berwald, who looked rather awkward, to meet him at his house after he got off work. Every hour seemed to pass by even more slowly as he waited for the baker to come over. When he finally did, Tino had joined their lips, instantly getting enveloped in the warmth of Berwald's arms wrapping around him. It was euphoric, Tino quickly becoming lost in the sheer warmth of Berwald's arms and burning hot mouth. That was the night that they had started to date each other.

Dating the owner of a bakery had its perks, Tino had to admit. There were the things Berwald had asked Tino to taste test. He got to see what went on behind the scenes, and formally meet Berwald's brother. Apparently his brother, Mathias, lived with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's brother right next door to Berwald. It was then that he also realized that though not as talented, Mathias clearly shared Berwald's talent for making sweets.

Berwald's love for cuddling was something that Tino milked for everything it was worth. Sometimes, whenever they were at each other's houses, Berwald would make himself comfortable on the couch, prompting Tino to sit down next to him and lie his head on Berwald's chest, listening to the soothing melody of a his heartbeat as those two arms encircled him.

Moving in with Berwald revealed some rather trivial things about the man. Apparently Mathias liked to come over whenever his boyfriend fought with him. It didn't escape Tino's notice that Berwald apparently had a soft spot for "cute" things; Berwald apparently had a secret closet filled with stuffed bunnies and kittens that Mathias didn't know about. Then there were the more serious aspects, like how Berwald wanted to adopt a little boy and how Tino wanted to get married someday.

Once again, being a baker's boyfriend had its perks. As Tino thrust hard into the body beneath him, beautifully naked, flushed and panting, he felt whole. He reached onto the kitchen floor for the bottle of chocolate syrup, picking it up and opening it before drawing a chocolate heart on Berwald's back. He continued to thrust and whisper sweet nothings into the larger man's ear until they both fell apart. As they lay together on the floor in the afterglow, Tino gently licked up the heart and murmured into Berwald's ear,

"_Minä rakastan sinua."_


	6. Not as Sweet as it Seems

Any: Parents Comparing Siblings

You know how some parents will compare their kids with one another? Like "Why can't you be more like your Brother?" or "You think you have it tough, look at the problems your sister has." They don't necessarily mean to, sometime they don't realise it.  
>But it still hurts like nothing else to those kids who are the victims of it, and causes a lot of self-esteem and other issues.<p>

I would like to see this happening to Nation A and how that Nation deals with it.  
>AU probably, Please keep Canon Genders.<p>

Bonus: Slavic Siblings, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine.

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><p>Sverige woefully stared down at the ground, fidgeting slightly with his fingers and a small gust of wind blew the leaf in front of him away. He peeked up for a brief moment and caught sight of his father's knee before quickly looking down again. He hen looked to the side at his slightly-older brother, Danmark. Danmark glanced over at him with a self-satisfied, "you're gonna get it now" look before quickly looking up at their father. Sverige shivered slightly at the blood coating his brother's body.<p>

Ancient Scandinavia held a tiny baby in one arm. Grasped in his other arm was a large axe, soaked with blood. Just like Danmark. He grunted, both Sverige and Danmark quickly looking up at him. He narrowed his eyes and glared at Sverige.

"You disgrace me, Sverige," Sverige stared down at the ground. "Look at me!" He quickly looked back up at Ancient Scandinavia. "Do you understand _why_ you disgrace me?"

Sverige fidgeted with his fingers before he shook his head.

"Answer me."

"N-No, pappa..." Ancient Scandinavia grunted in disapproval.

"Not only do you never manage to secure any goods during a raid, for the benefit of _your own family_, but you never kill any of the people trying to kill you, your brother, or myself. You are stronger than all of those men, yet you cower in fear! It would be a slap in the face to Odin himself if you went to Valhalla. Look at yourself," Sverige swallowed thickly and examined his body. "Now look at your brother." Danmark looked at Sverige with a cocky grin. Blood drenched Danmark. Sverige's clothes were almost completely devoid of the crimson color.

"I'm sorry pappa, but..."

"Don't you dare say _anything, _unless I tell you to," Sverige felt his teeth chattering slightly. He nodded. "Tell me where you were during he raid. If you were anywhere you were supposed to be, there would be far more blood on you than there is now."

"Uh, I was going to–"

"_Where were you during the raid, Sverige?_" Ancient Scandinavia"s voice was laced with so much disappointment, Sverige felt like breaking down.

"I was inside an empty home..." Ancient Scandinavia's eye twitched before he roared in anger, the baby in his arms never reacting to him at all.

"That's your excuse? Hiding in an empty home? Why are you so useless? Maybe if you were a girl I could make you useful, to mend us clothes or cook! You _never_ kill anyone, you _never_ get us anything, and you deplete the resources we _do_ have!" Ancient Scandinavia quickly pointed at Danmark. "Why can't you be more like Danmark? He _always_ does what he's supposed to do! He _always_ kills when he needs to! _He_ feeds you with the food he takes, _he_ keeps you from getting killed, and _he_ is the only one that's of any use! You'd have died countless times without him! And how many times has he died protecting _you_?"

"Eight times, pappa!" Danmark interrupted, Ancient Scandinavia not saying anything to him about interrupting him.

"Eight times! And how many times have _you_ died protecting _him_?"

"None, pappa..."

"That's right, Sverige! I don't know why I even bother with you!" Ancient Scandinavia pointed to the baby in his arm. "I'm going to make sure that Danmark is the one who spends more time with Norge. Maybe then I'll have more warriors than cowards."

"Yay! Norge is going to be _my_ playmate!" Sverige felt his body start to tremble. But he couldn't cry, not in front of his father.

"Come on, Danmark. We need to go back to our camp. You know where it is, Sverige." At that, Ancient Scandinavia turned around and lifted his axe onto his shoulder, Danmark following him happily. Sverige waited until they were out of sight until he allowed his legs to collapse, bringing him down to the ground.

He choked out a sob and hit the ground with his tiny fist. Why couldn't he be strong like Danmark? Why did he have to be so useless? Why couldn't things work out just once? He opened his eyes and saw the slightly darkened dirt where his tears had hit the ground. He started crying even harder, the dirt slowly darkening with each tear...

.*.*.

Sverige felt with stomach twist and turn within himself. He was a terrible person. He was. This little girl hadn't done a thing to him. And there her body was. Cold, dead eyes looking up at him. Those men over there never did a thing to him, but tried to protect their families. And now the entire village was dead. Not a soul was left. Men, women and children, all had their lives cut short.

Sverige felt a hand rub his head. He looked up and saw Ancient Scandinavia softly rubbing his hair, a warm smile gracing his features.

His father's approval wasn't as sweet as he always imagined it was...


End file.
